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    March 18

    Ten things.......

    Ten things a man would do if he woke up with a vagina:

     

    10. Immediately go shopping for a vibrator
    9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half
    8. See if he could finally do the splits
    7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping-pong ball 20 feet
    6. Cross his legs without rearranging his crotch
    5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 20 minutes
    4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first
    3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video
    2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts too
    1. Finally find that damn G-Spot

     

    Ten things a woman would do if she woke up with a penis:

     
    10. Get ahead faster in the corporate world
    9. Get a blowjob
    8. Find out what is so fascinating about "beating the meat"
    7. Pee standing up
    6. Determine WHY you can't hit the bowl consistently
    5. Find out what it is like to be on the other end of a surging orgasm
    4. Touch/shift herself in public without a thought as to how improper it might seem
    3. Jump up and down naked with an erection to see if it feels as funny as it looks
    2. Understand the scientific reason for the light refraction that occurs between a man's eyes and the ruler situated next to his member, which causes two inches to be added to the final measurement
    1. Get a sex change operation.

     

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    March 08

    The advantages and disadvantages of a Threesome..................

     

        

    Advantages.


    1. It can get really weird
    2. Someone can go and make a pot of tea without interrupting the proceedings
    3. There's always a hand or mouth free when you need one
    4. Hotel rooms split 3 ways are only £13.50
    5. You get to watch your best friends making love
    6. You get to get watched making love
    7. Simultaneous enjoying intercourse and oral sex has to be experienced to be believed
    8. You get strange looks when you all go out dancing
    9. You get really strange looks when you all go out comparison shopping for condoms
    10. Enough people to play gin rummy if things don't work out
    11. You can safely check your friends for lesbian tendencies without actually doing anything about it
    12. Calling out the wrong name during climax isn't as much of a problem, the "wrong name" is probably the one on your left
    13. Three-person showers are fantastic
    14. Three-person naked belly laughs are even better
    15. Three-person kisses are best of all.

     

    (11. Might also be considered a disadvantage)

     

    Disadvantages:   

     

    1. It can get really weird
    2. Tougher for three people to decide on pizza toppings
    3. Simultaneous orgasms are even trickier to pull off
    4. You may get paranoid thoughts that while you're in the bathroom; the other two are giggling over your saggy tits
    5. Trying to find safe places to put your elbows/feet/knees/head/etc
    6. You get to find out what kind of really sick things your friends like
    7. Queen-sized beds are suddenly smaller than you remember.
    8. Trying to fit 3 names in the little heart when drawing on your notebooks
    9. Morning breath multiplied by 3
    10. You might discover weird tendencies you didn't know you had. 
    11. You might discover lesbian tendencies in one of your friends you didn't suspect.
    12. You have the option of wrecking twice the normal number of relationships
    13. The odds of boyfriends/spouses walking in on you triple
    14. Sorting clothes when it is time to go assumes comical proportions
    15. Now there are two wet spots to avoid.

     

    (11. Might also be considered an advantage)